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Put on Your Drinking Pants: A Review of Sunshine Wheat Beer By the Dynamic Duo of Ben “Batman” Smith and Mike “I poop too much” McCracken
As a response to the plethora of articles concerning drugs that have graced these pages over the last year, the next obvious step was either midget wrestling or the reviewing of beers. Given that we know few midgets, beer was the logical choice. Especially since we’ve given up our livers in favor of a higher God (all hail Bacchus!). Beer has not been touched in past. Have we just been limiting ourselves? Are we totally forgetting to mention any other perfectly legal vices? Is guzzling down a good oats soda not as worthy as partaking in other less-than-reputable activities? We think not. So in that vein, it seemed that the edification of those younger and less experienced in the ways of stale barley should take place under our tutelage. Plus it was a great excuse to get drunk. From our friends that brought us the Colorado delicacy, Fat Tire, comes another extraordinary ale, Sunshine Wheat. Just past the post-colonial-realism style artwork on the label resides a stunning combination of flavor and golden color. It features a smooth, silky taste, with a hint of honey. Aftertaste is reduced to a whimper. The last sentence serves as a reminder as to alcohol’s ability to render ordinary humans into slobbering poets. Sunshine Wheat Beer is, as we have alluded, a delicacy, and is therefore beyond the repeated gulping attributed to most college students. It is a scholar’s beer, for those who crave the finer side of life, for those who shop at cigar stores, and who have subscriptions to magazines without the word “-week” or “Jugs” in the title. This beer is one that is meant to be savored, not shotgunned. Such an extensive laundry list is merely to say, “it ain’t cheap.” While it isn’t the most expensive of all beers, and it’s not an imported beverage, it will still run about seven dollars for a six pack. However, you should prepare to travel to the surrounding states, because, like almost anything fun, you can’t find it in Oklahoma. But if you do happen to cross the river, make sure to drop your drinkin’ pants and grab a smoking jacket. You’re going to enter the world of sophisticated bliss in no time.

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