Good Features of a Language or Cultural Discovery Essay
Fall 2001
Section 28
The author’s cultural discovery is clear.
Dialogue
The writing style is authentic.
The description was detailed and created the scenes in the readers’ minds..
The author created a clear dominant impression of people and scenes.
Effective word choices
The comparisons are vivid, excellent, and precise.
The beginning helped readers imagine what the whole essay was going to say, and made people want to read the essay.
The beginning was short and seemed comfortable
The author included her feelings and was sensitive.
The title makes the readers curious.
The topic was a new idea; it was personal, and the author was sincere about it.
The conclusion was vivid and finished the essay well.
All parts of the essay fit together and relate to each other.
Lots of examples were used to illustrate the discovery.
The short dialogue at the beginning was effective.
Flashback helps include background information.
The connections between the past, present, and future were fluent.

Section 36
The comparisons are descriptive.
The author creates an atmosphere for many scenes in the essay.
The language is rich and varied.  The author used interesting word choices.
The essay was well-organized.
The author is sincere.  Readers feel the discovery is truly important to the author.
The beginning is vivid and intriguing.
The flashback technique was effective.
The descriptions of people and places were easy to imagine.
The sensory description helped make the essay more lifelike.
Dialogue
The author carries the readers along smoothly from beginning to end.
Enough examples were included.

Section 38
The flashback link between past and present is effective.
The readers sympathized with and liked the author.
Sensory description of sounds
The author was sincere
Interior dialogue
The beginning makes the readers curious to read the essay.
The descriptions and detailing gave readers a true picture of the scenes and events.
Enough background information was included.
The conclusion was simple, meaningful, and completed the circle of the essay.
There were lots of examples.
Dialogue helped make events come to life.
The descriptions were vivid.
The title catches the readers' attention.
The ideas in the essay are linked well together.

Problems to Avoid in a Cultural Discovery Essay

Section 28
More background information was needed
The conclusion was sudden and didn’t continue with description.
The title doesn’t fit the essay well.
The conclusion didn’t fit the essay well.
The author’s attitudes were not clear.
The author used too many general words and not enough specific concrete words.
The author did not use enough vivid description—there was too much telling in the essay.
The discovery was not clear to all readers.
Flashback is a tired technique.

Section 36
Not all parts of the essay fit together well.
Not enough examples or specific details
The ending disappointed readers
Not enough background information
The title is not clear and doesn't fit the essay
Not enough vivid and detailed description
Not enough of the author's feelings were expressed
Readers still have important questions about the events in the essay

Section 38
The information is not all accurate.
The title doesn't agree with the essay.
More information is needed
Not enough of the author's feelings were expressed
Not all parts of the essay fit together

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