Student Handbook

Timeline of Matching Process

• Submit application

• For the Fall semester*: you will be matched in early August or early September

• For the Spring semester: you will be matched in January or early February 

*We do our best to match students before your arrival to OU, but this is not always possible

When You Will Be Contacted

• Your host family will initiate contact with you once you have been matched, but if you don’t hear from them within two weeks of matching, please email FIS at fis@ou.edu.

   

How We Match Students with Families

• FIS matches students with hosts based on application preferences and common interests; we do our best to match according to your preferences but we are not able to guarantee this due to host family availability.

• Single-person households are matched with students of the same gender.

Initial Contact with Host Family

Tips for Creating a Successful and Healthy Relationship with Your Family

• Be sure to return your host’s calls and emails in a prompt manner. They are eager to welcome you to Oklahoma and want to hear from you!

• Be prompt in your responses, and remember that saying "no" is okay and better than not responding. If you have made plans, please be on time. Give your host family several days notice if you have to cancel.

• If your contact information changes be sure to let them know.

• Ask questions about American culture or learn about different features of the Norman community. 

• Share your experiences with your FIS Families; they will be interested in hearing about your culture and your aspirations. 

• Interact with your FIS family as often as possible.

What Not to Expect

• Academic Advice: Please contact your academic advisor at OU to assist you with course related issues (enrollment, add/drop classes). There are also professors and academic tutors available to help with academic coursework. 

• Immigration Advice: Please refer all of your immigration related questions and issues to International Students Services and your ISS advisor. They are properly trained to assist you through this process and can ensure that information is processed accurately and efficiently. Email them at iss@ou.edu.

• Medical Advice: Contact Goddard Health Center or the Disability Resource Center for any of your health related problems or questions. Goddard can be reached at (405) 325-4611 and their website is http://www.ou.edu/healthservices. You can find more information about the Disability Resource Center on their website: http://www.ou.edu/drc. 

• Financial Advice: Contact your ISS advisor about financial issues that might arise during your time at OU, they will be able to help you through the process and guide you in the right direction. There are also additional emergency funding options available for international students by contacting the International Programs Coordinators. 

• Employment Advice: If you need more information on how you can work or what type of work is acceptable while being a student, visit International Student Services and your ISS advisor to see your options. 

• If you have any questions or concerns, please contact FIS at fis@ou.edu.

FIS Events

• Friends to International Students hosts various events throughout the semester that your host family will invite you to. Past events include: welcome pool party, pumpkin carving, Thanksgiving pie tasting, game nights, and a spring picnic.

Common Customs

• Time: Punctuality is valued in the United States and this can be a major cultural adjustment to many. You are expected to be ready at the time agreed upon if someone is picking you up at your residence. When invited to someone’s home, you are expected to arrive within five 5-10 minutes before or after the scheduled time.When you plan to meet someone where reservations have been made, it is very important to arrive at the agreed time. Arriving late for social events or appointments can indicate a lack of respect for the person who is waiting.
  
  

• Invitations: Americans make statements such as “You must come to see us” or “See you later.” This kind of friendly statement is not necessarily an invitation. An invitation specifies a time, date, and a place. It is polite to respond to invitations with either “yes” or “no.” A “yes” answer requires you to attend unless you call to cancel. It is polite to say “no” but always explain what the circumstances might be. If you find you must cancel a meeting or social engagement, inform your host as early as possible. It is considered impolite to accept an invitation and not go.
  
  

• Introduction and Greeting: It is proper to shake hands with everyone to whom you are introduced, both men and women. An appropriate response to an introduction is “Nice to meet you.” Some Americans greet each other with a hug if they are well acquainted. If you do not wish to be hugged, extend your hand quickly for a handshake.
  
  

• Dining: The evening meal is the main meal of the day in most parts of the United States. Guests are encouraged to join in conversations. Guests usually wait until everyone at their table has been served before they begin to eat, unless told otherwise. Hands may be used to eat foods such as hamburgers, fried chicken, and sandwiches. It is alright to say, “No, thank you” if you don’t want to try a certain dish or when you are offered a second serving of food.
  
  

• Thank You: It is not necessary to bring a gift when you are invited to dinner. However, if you want to give a small, inexpensive gift, a small item you brought from home can be a pleasant surprise to your host. Always thank the host and hostess for their hospitality. An email or text sent within a few days after your visit is always appreciated.
  
  

• Goodbye: Dinner guests usually stay for conversation after the meal is finished. He or she may suggest a time for leaving when the invite is extended or if they are taking you home. It is not necessary to say goodbye to everyone before leaving when in larger groups.
  
  

• Smoking: Ask your host’s permission before smoking outside their home and respect their rules. If possible, choose to wait to smoke until after returning back to your residence.
  
  

• Pets: Many Americans have pets, especially dogs and cats that are often allowed into every room in their homes. If you indicated in your application that you have a pet allergy we will not match you with a family with pets. If you are afraid of some animals or pets, please communicate with your host family so that they can accommodate you.
  
  

• Religion: Some Americans are quite involved in religious activities as an expression of their faith and as a social outlet. If you are invited to attend a religious event and don’t feel comfortable, it’s appropriate to decline. It is also acceptable to decline to discuss religious issues with your hosts. 

• Overnight Stays: The FIS program is not a live-in program. The general expectation is that students will not stay overnight with the host families. If you receive an invitation to stay overnight with a host family, please contact the International Programs Coordinators at fis@ou.edu prior to accepting the invitation.

Common Values

• Independence: Americans strongly believe in the concept of individualism. They consider themselves to be separate individuals who are in control of their own lives, rather than members of a close-knit, interdependent family, religious group, tribe, nation, or other group. 

• Privacy: Americans enjoy time alone, value private spaces, and are guarded with what they consider personal information. For example, they are reserved about discussing financial matters or family issues and will often avoid answering questions about certain topics.

• Informality: Americans can be rather informal in their behavior towards other people. Many people visiting the US are surprised by the informality of American speech, dress, and posture. Don’t mistake this for rudeness or irreverence, it’s just a part of the culture. 

• Directness: Americans tend to value frankness and openness in their dealings with other people. They believe that conflicts and disagreements are best solved by means of forthright discussion among the people involved. Americans believe that if someone has a problem with someone else, they should tell the person clearly and directly in order to come up with a solution to the problem.

• Achievement: In the United States, individuals’ status is primarily based on what they have achieved on their own including education and the level of success in their employment. Many students’ cultures dictate that respect is given based on other factors such as age or title.

• We hope that your relationship with your host family will continue after your time ends at the University of Oklahoma. By keeping in touch with your host family after you leave, you will discover that many hosts will enjoy meeting up with you in the future. Be sure to give updated contact information with your host family once you arrive back home. 

• We hope this handbook has given you the information you need to have a good relationship with your friendship family. If you have any issues, questions, or concerns, please reach out to the FIS coordinators, Mary Beth Polk and Courtney Crowder, at fis@ou.edu. We are located in the International Student Services office in Farzaneh Hall Room 136.

• Make sure to like our page on Facebook to stay updated on current events happening with FIS: https://www.facebook.com/friendstointernationalstudents/.  

• In case of an emergency situation, please contact the 24-hour CIS emergency phone: 1-405-630-5392

NAFSA publications. 2006. Friendship with Your American Host: A Guide for Foreign Students at U.S. Colleges and Universities. Washington DC: NAFSA nafsa.org